Cos Hordefiighter steals his food

[00:14] hi
[00:14] hi
[00:16] I’m Blah…
[00:16] I have a block on web
[00:16] becouse I can’t finish a game
[00:17] You dropped from a game and then played another game with the same team..
[00:17] and after I forgot it
[00:17] yes
[00:18] becouse I don’t remeber it
[00:18] :/
[00:18] I dropped for a woman
[00:18] hmm
[00:18] she come from my room with out her clothes
[00:19] I CAN’T say NO
[00:19] I’m a man
[00:19]
[00:19] …
[00:19] I’m not joke
[00:20] I write it
[00:20] You know what, that has to be the best excuse I have heard for dropping a game…. 10/10

The site I work on has over 50,000 registered users, and I have heard some weird / crazy excuses for breaking the site rules. But that one really did cap the lot

Have linked my album page as well for you all to laugh at. This is still a work in progress

Anyhow, something funny that happened to me once. I often grow out my beard (too lazy to shave). It is very thick and spiky, and I don’t trim it at all.

One day, while in beard form (couldn’t resist the pun, sorry ), I went to a small store in Bangalore. It was the kind of store where you have to ask the shopkeeper to bring stuff you want. No self service. So I asked him for some face-wash.

Now, this shopkeeper, he was a young cheeky thing, not even a trace of facial hair yet. He brings out a bottle of shampoo, and tells me “I think this will serve you better, sir”.

Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

Janet and Charlie were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool.. Charlie suddenly jumped into the deep end.

He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Janet promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Janet’s heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Janet the news she said, ‘ Janet , I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.

The bad news is, Charlie hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he’s dead.’

Janet replied, ‘He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?’

On the management page, you will see a link ‘users’ on the right hand side towards the top. In there, you can invite yourself as an author/contributor/whatever. Then you can post stuff on the main website.

Also, you can give me your email address, and I can do the dirty work for you and send you the invitation.

Bally

I think this kinda of stuff is main blog-material!

I am a pet lover.. Ok I will rephrase that. I love pets. Currently I have 1 gorilla, 2 monkeys, 6 yes 6 cats (thanks to the rescued stray handing me 3 kitties) 1 lizard and 1 goldfish… Yes, it does feel like a zoo at times…
No matter how many times I read this following piece, I keel over laughing. Because I know how true it really is!!!

The world of cats and dogs
The Dog’s Diary
8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thiing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

The Cat’s Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am.
Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.
I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’
I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges.
He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return.
He is obviously retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.
I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe for now.

Hope you laughed at this as much as I did

P.S.
My gorilla is my eldest son, my monkeys are my younger 2 children

Angie